Verizon just dropped the mic on the FCC. In Morse Code

In case you didn't hear, the FCC voted in favor today of enforcing "net neutrality," by regulating the internet the same way as the telephone, and wanting to ban business practices it decries as being "unjust or unreasonable," which is very vague and open to interpretation and will totally work. Har har har.

The harmless government stated goal is to "prevent providers from slowing or blocking web traffic, and totally not in order to raise taxes or anything" said FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler. (I made the last part up, but you know that's what they're thinking.) Most companies (and regular people) are rejecting this as being yet another government imposition on daily life, and one that is also redundant as we already have those measures in place to begin with. Government overreach? From this current administration? Surely they're joking.

As much as people have been protesting it, none did it with as much fuck-you flair as Verizon who released a statement in Morse code, suggesting the FCC imposes old time rules on the internet.

They then translated it, using a typewriter typeface, for people who don't understand Morse code. They also dated it February 26, 1934.

Title II Regulations a ‘Net’ Loss for Innovation and Consumers FCC’s ‘Throwback Thursday’ Move Imposes 1930s Rules on the Internet

WASHINGTON – Today (Feb. 26) the Federal Communications Commission approved an order urged by President Obama that imposes rules on broadband Internet services that were written in the era of the steam locomotive and the telegraph. The following statement should be attributed to Michael E. Glover, Verizon senior vice president, public policy and government affairs:
“Today’s decision by the FCC to encumber broadband Internet services with badly antiquated regulations is a radical step that presages a time of uncertainty for consumers, innovators and investors. Over the past two decades a bipartisan, light- touch policy approach unleashed unprecedented investment and enabled the broadband Internet age consumers now enjoy.

“The FCC today chose to change the way the commercial Internet has operated since its creation. Changing a platform that has been so successful should be done, if at all, only after careful policy analysis,
full transparency, and by the legislature, which is constitutionally charged with determining policy. As a result, it is likely that history will judge today’s actions as misguided.

“The FCC’s move is especially regrettable because it is wholly unnecessary.

The FCC had targeted tools available to preserve an open Internet, but instead chose to use this order as an excuse to adopt 300-
plus pages of broad and open-ended regulatory arcana that will have unintended negative consequences for consumers and various parts of the Internet ecosystem for years to come.

“What has been and will remain constant before, during and after the existence of any regulations is Verizon’s commitment to an open Internet that provides consumers with competitive broadband choices and
Internet access when, where, and how they want.”

Seeing how amazingly tone deaf the current administration is on both sides of the political spectrum, I highly doubt this will make a difference. But hopefully cooler and smarter and less money-grubbing heads will prevail.

Regardless, I have to hand it to Verizon for not going down without a creative fight.