Fabio in the Old Spice campaign - I'm calling off the engagement.

Dear Old Spice. We have to talk. I know I might have come on a bit strong when I kept proposing to you, over and over again. You liked the attention, and we made that work. You took me on scent vacations and swept me off my feet.

But you've changed. You now have Fabio in your campaign. As your fiancé, I am ready to accept that we will both grow during this relationship, and was happy when the punchline delivered here actually made me laugh. Ah, I thought, your sense of humor is intact. Lovely. It was one of the things that made you so attractive to me, after all.

Old Spice - Fabio / Fireplace - (2011) :15 (USA)

But, and this is where it gets hairy, my dear, you've changed a lot. This is not the same campaign I fell in love with.

Old Spice - Fabio / Hair - (2011) :30 (USA)

I realize that you will always pursue other interests, and other women, as that's your job. That doesn't bother me. It's the little things. Like that noise you now make rolling across the piano. It makes me want to smash your face in.

Old Spice - Fabio / Piano - (2011) :30 (USA)

In the end, you don't do the mountain top the way you used to do the mountain top. I loved your mountain top. I realize that I will never see you in fine form in the jungle again, will I? This saddens me so. It is you, not me.

Old Spice - Fabio / Mountain Top - (2011) :15 (USA)

So before we take our vows regarding for better or worse, I have seen the worse and we clearly do not have the same goals in life. I am not walking down that aisle with you. It's better we break this off now, than later. This isn't easy and neither are you... Have a nice life, Old Spice campaign. Tell your mum I said hi.