You can picture it now: An advertising agency standing before the formidable board of rum lords Joseph E. Seagram and Sons, pitching an earth shattering idea in a pitch that will make all other contenders pale by comparison...
Seagrams: Is your idea original and innovative?
Ad agency: Hell yeah!
Seagrams: Will it sell boatloads of our Captain Morgan rum?
Ad agency: Hell yeah!
Seagrams: So what's your original and innovative idea that'll sell boatloads of our Captain Morgan rum?
Ad agency: Fake facial hair!
Seagrams: Excuse me?
Ad agency: Hell yeah! Not only is it original and innovative, it's daring, avant garde and cutting edge! It speaks to the rebel inside us all! You know how when rebellious, cool, hip, with-it people see a poster or playbill on the street, they pull out their Avery Marks-A-Lot Permanent Markers and deface the models or stars on it by drawing rebellious, cool, hip, with-it fake mustaches on their rebellious, cool, hip, with-it faces?
Seagrams: Uhh..... yeah. Sort of.
Ad agency: Well, we'll beat them to the punch! We'll draw rebellious, cool, hip, with-it fake mustaches on our rebellious, cool, hip, with-it models to get across the point that Captain Morgan Rum is a rebellious, cool, hip, with-it rum!
Seagrams: We like it! No, we love it! Here's a boatload of money!
Ad agency: Hell yeah!
(end of hypothetical historical scenario)
__________
There's only a couple of small problems...
Check out the following Captain Morgan ad from February 16, 2001.
Ad agency: See!? It's an original, innovative, daring, avant garde and cutting edge idea! It's rebellious, cool, hip and with-it too!
Now, check out this Captain Morgan ad from February 9, 2001.
Ad agency: See!? It's got legs! It's an original, innovative, daring, avant garde and cutting edge campaign! It's rebellious, cool, hip and with-it too!
Now, check out this Olé Tequila ad from August 1974.
Ad agency: Uhh... shit. No, wait! That ad shows a happy couple with fake mustaches! Our ads show only one model with a rebellious, cool, hip, with-it fake mustache!
Then check out this Captain Morgan ad dating back to January 1996. (link thanks to the adflip.com collection)
Ad agency: Double shit!! We forgot about that! No, wait! That Olé Tequila ad is selling tequila! Our ads use rebellious, cool, hip, with-it fake mustaches to sell rum! Nobody's ever done that before!
Then check out this Ronrico Rum ad from August 1978.
Ad agency: Triple shit!!! No, wait! Our rebellious, cool, hip, with-it fake mustaches are red!
Sorry. No dice.
Ad agency: Quadruple shit!!!! No, wait! Did we mention that we're an original, innovative, daring, avant garde and cutting edge advertising agency?
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