A puff from a stick with a Winston label
Blown by a staffer underneath the table
That's how you simulate the steam
for an oven-fresh bird photo shoot regime
Speaking of fowl and manipulation
I can feel the Colonel's ghost's frustration
KFC no longer means Kentucky Fried?
What's the new wording their agency tried?
While the CA spot featured the great Ed Wheeler
Campbell's Chunky Soup used this Pittsburgh Steeler
He starred in a spot and his legs got worse
Thus continuing this stew-based curse
His teammates like to call him The Bus
But what's his real name? Go ahead, discuss.
(The following is written in present-tense, but obviously isn't referring to my current employer - Heavens to Betsy no! It's about a different guy, in a different place and a different time. Yeah. That's the ticket.)
_____________
Our boss is dangerously colour-blind, yet for some inexplicit reason adores full colour ads in the local newspaper ($ perhaps?).
He also hates hates hates it when we do a black and white ad.
Why?
"Because the black plate'll shift and knock everything out of register."
We've tried to carefully and tactfully correct him on his thinking, but he's a hardwired and defensive sum'bitch who goes into either spaz or "cut direct" mode before our words have a chance to take effect.
So nowadays, to make work life easier for ourselves, we just reassure him that with today's cutting-edge newspaper press technology, the white plate will shift right along with the black plate, keeping everything in the b/w ad crisp and clean.
Sigh.
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Singing... "M-I-C.... K-E-Y... F-U-B-A-R!"
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