A puff from a stick with a Winston label
Blown by a staffer underneath the table
That's how you simulate the steam
for an oven-fresh bird photo shoot regime
Speaking of fowl and manipulation
I can feel the Colonel's ghost's frustration
KFC no longer means Kentucky Fried?
What's the new wording their agency tried?
(The following is written in present-tense, but obviously isn't referring to my current employer - Heavens to Betsy no! It's about a different guy, in a different place and a different time. Yeah. That's the ticket.)
_____________
Our boss is dangerously colour-blind, yet for some inexplicit reason adores full colour ads in the local newspaper ($ perhaps?).
He also hates hates hates it when we do a black and white ad.
Why?
"Because the black plate'll shift and knock everything out of register."
We've tried to carefully and tactfully correct him on his thinking, but he's a hardwired and defensive sum'bitch who goes into either spaz or "cut direct" mode before our words have a chance to take effect.
So nowadays, to make work life easier for ourselves, we just reassure him that with today's cutting-edge newspaper press technology, the white plate will shift right along with the black plate, keeping everything in the b/w ad crisp and clean.
Sigh.
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Singing... "M-I-C.... K-E-Y... F-U-B-A-R!"
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