Warsteiner "Do it right." (2014) 1:05 (The Netherlands)

I tried, man. i really did. I was following the vibe. I was liking the images of so-called 'real people,' because they're always more interesting than central casting types. I was willing to put up with the VO which make me have bad flashbacks to Trainspotting. It's early, I haven't had my coffee, and still the high-energy feel was okay.

I was tracking all they way up to when they asked "Why can't you right a skateboard when you're forty freaking five."

I'll tell you why, you bastard: because you look like a hipster douche who is trying desperately to hold on to your youth. Riding a skateboard is barely passable at twenty-five. Seriously I spend half my time in L.A. trying to avoid hitting grown up man-children on skateboards who disregard any and all driving and pedestrian rule known to man. This is behavior we do not want to encourage.

Anthem spots, people. When will they stop? Why hunt so hard for authentic people just to give me a rousing anthem spot? Especially once in which a brand has the arrogance to believe only it can give me "permission: to be myself. I want to take that brand, put my hands on its shoulders and tell them "I don't need your fucking permission to be myself. You aren't my enabler, my parents, or my friend. You're just a brand who is going along for the ride because at this very moment I chose to allow you to. And if you don't shut up, I'm putting you down and picking up an American craft beer that doesn't talk as much."

Client: Warsteiner
Agency: Amsterdam Worldwide
Brian Elliott, Founder and CEO
Richard Gorodecky, Executive Creative Director
Uli Kurtenbach, Strategic Director