NUKE NIKE

It probably would be awesome to just drop a bomb and walk away, like the slow Clint Eastwood helicopter shot at the end of any number of his movies. But life does go on and there are always more things to say as we chronicle the end of the Advertising Age. 

Like Nike. Anyone who follows pattern recognition knows it’s not unfair to note Nike more than sorta sucks. They’re globalist parasites and ugly Americans, underpaying workers all around the world while hawking their rubber shoes at ridiculous prices back home. They're always surrounded with divisive controversy, it just goes on and on, now both Colin Kaepernick AGAIN plus a new exciting and polarizing figure, the stupendously singular American soccer star, annoying loudmouth and don’t make me say it because you know she is both running and cunning, Megan Rapinoe.

Look, I’ll give it to her: possibly/probably the finest player on an excellent team, an inspiration to many, but just….I dunno—do we really need that inspiration to be so angry and divisive all the time? I’m late to the playing field on contrarian opinions about the amazing American Women’s Soccer team so I’ll stop now.

Then Kaepernick, yet again, not playing football, not content with his vindication in the courts, now he’s got his target on the Revolutionary War flag, an iconic American symbol, because a few fringe right wing groups had appropriated it. Here’s the Betsy Ross Flag. I briefly saw a photo of one right wing group that's tried to associate itself with the Ross flag (it’s already been scrubbed from the net, if anybody finds it please send), and it’s the Ross flag with a Roman Numeral III inside the circle. So it’s not even the same flag, really. 

It took me a long time to decide what I think about Kaepernick, one of the few touchy subjects I dared not touch upon because RACE. But now I’ve decided he’s an asshole. 

I initially believed he had a point and appreciated what he wanted to do—heck, there was a black guy at my church who started taking a knee during The Lord’s Prayer every Sunday and nobody thought he was protesting Jesus—and since the NFL sucks ass now and is almost surely fixed, I enjoyed watching one sorta black gunslinger dude tag-teaming with Trump to destroy the reputation of a bunch of shitheel white guy oligarchs’ plaything. 

But as the NFL kneeling debacle dragged on and on without really accomplishing anything other than division, anger and conflict, I began to smell a rat. Still, since that rolling shit show was about RACE and I try to have empathy for worldviews beyond my ken, I held firm in the possibility the rat I was smelling might be me. 

So before I start tearing into this, let me state: There is no question in my mind that systemic racism has been a bigger anchor for black Americans in the United States than any other demographic. Moreover, I know from my work in the vaccine risk awareness movement that those evil fucks at Big Pharma seem to have a special hatred for black people—have you seen the autism numbers for young black males compared to everybody else? Did you know the HPV vaccine for women is designed for white women’s genotypes and is doing nothing for black women (at best)? Are you familiar with the Tuskegee experiments?

Anyway, I still gave Kaepernick benefit of the doubt when he won his lawsuit against the league; he was kicking the awful NFL while it was down, and that was fine with me since I want the NFL to die even more than the advertising biz (well, maybe not).

But this thing with the Betsy Ross sneakers….dude, why? I’m sorry, but it reeks of treasonous societal programming, forcing a tiny racist minority’s perverse interpretation of a classic American Revolutionary symbol upon the worldview of all Americans, when the vast majority of us just like it because it makes us feel good about the country we love and reminds us of the smart and genuinely revolutionary dudes who fought (and propagandized!) a nascent nation of 13 (thirteen is a big deal) states…you know the drill. 

It’s also not lost on me, if we are to truly de-occult the mass brainwashing magick that’s in play here--which, to be clear, sure seems to be to turn Americans against the American flag---this bruhahahahaha kicked into gear mere days after we finished a whole month of being told we all need to be proud of and embrace the rainbow flag.

Let me state: I have nothing against the rainbow flag. In theory. It is also no doubt ripe to be used as a subversive globalist platform to unify people by sexuality as opposed to national identity, and when I stare at this thing sideways that's how it looks to me.

I also challenge Rapinoe’s “Fuck the White House,” comment, far more subversive than Robert deNiro’s “Fuck Trump,” because the latter is just a Reality TV Show President, whatever, hate him if you want. But the former is a cornerstone institution of the nation, and I call bullshit on that. And don’t try to tell me it was an offhand comment--it came at a press conference. People are literally scripted for that shit. You know it, I know it. The word was chosen cunningly, I’m sure. 

As for Nike, anybody who pays attention knows how much they suck as a company, They make almost nothing here, they pay a pittance to employees overseas, their product is hugely overpriced, we could go on and on. If you don’t know how much Nike sucks, please read those links above from people who don’t take Nike advertising money, unlike pretty much all the corporate media you read and watch now. 

And if you want to cross the astral plane with me for a second, a de-occultist examining Nike would tell you their famous slogan “Just Do It,” is very similar to “Do what thou wilt,” as coined by the 20th Century’s most notorious sorcerer and British spy, author, multiple secret society member and other weird shit, Aleister Crowley. 

There was originally a much longer section here about how much Wieden & Kennedy sucks for creating so much divisive unhealthy arguably treasonous shit for Nike, but because I know the ad biz is full of narcissistic masochists and sadists, a bunch of them might get off on it. Suffice to say they were the Cannes Lyin’s Agency of the Year. Since the world of advertising and the Cannes Lyin’s especially exist in Law of Inversion world, it actually means W&K are horrific monster parasites and anyone who works there should be shunned in public.

In closing, since I’m usually the guy who tries to find the biggest turd to throw in the punchbowl, figured I’d make you aware that there are some anonymous people saying some probably slanderous things about Nike CEO Mark Parker on Twitter. It's been up there for more than a week, retweets have reached the thousands. Still, let’s be clear: I’m not the one saying them. I’m just saying they’re out there, and if they’re out there you should know that they’re out there. Not saying they’re true, no way.

But you know what? Fuck that guy. I like the Betsy Ross flag.