Are you SURE you want to be a brand?

If I had a nickel for every last social media guru ninja wizard who said breathlessly "You are your own brand," I'd have enough money to shut the internet down. And why would I want to do that?

Because I am not, repeat, NOT a brand. I don't need to add a ™ next to my name. I do not live in fear of declaring bankruptcy on myself. I have not once gone public with an overvalued stock price. And I certainly haven't had to do a massive mea culpa on social media for something stupid I've said.

See, the only human brands out there, are the ones who work really hard at to become a brand. All the while unaware that any of the above circumstances will happen to them sooner or later.

You know another reason I don't like being referred to as a brand? Because they people who buy into it, are people like everyone's favorite narcissist, Mr. Kanye West.

Kanye, the person has become a brand. So much so that now an um, entrepreneur has set up an Etsy store where you can get your favorite Kanye tweet hand-stitched and framed. Made to order. One of a kind.

In other words, this is Grandma Moses art for 2012. What's also astounding is that unlike real brands which require you to buy them, you can now make a buck off the brand by appealing to the fans.

Oh and dig this curious disclaimer on the store's site:

**Also, because each of these are completely hand-stitched, each one, even if it's a tweet I've stitched 100 of, is One Of A Kind.

It kind of makes me laugh until my head hurts to follow the logic of that. But then it also kind of hurts my head to read anything Kanye tweets, hand-stitched or not.

Can we please now make a pact to never refer to each other as brands ever again?