Advertisers premature release of super bowl commercials leave viewers unsatisfied

Sadly, what has gotten more common over the years has now reached epic proportions. Super Bowl ads from marketers including Carl's Jr, Lexus, and Toyota have already been released or previewed, and the super bowl surprise will already feel like a rerun before it even began.

To all people releasing early, you should know, that this is not the way to build hype. To all those who have been told to embargo, and still tell, that is not the way you keep friends.

...and then because lots of people, just can't leave well enough alone... We have the super-bowl pre-bowl-hype-show. Oh yeah, right now.

The pre-bowl hype show, is all the shittiest ads asking for your attention before the show, because they're not secure enough to be sure that you'll notice them when you are glued to your TV, watching the ads, during the national ads-watching-Sunday. These pre-release ads peoples have a problem. This year, Super Bowl advertisers like Anheuser-Busch, BMW and GoDaddy are making NBC Universal's properties a key part of their marketing strategy, showing TV viewers Super Bowl ads early during "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" and the "Today" show. Because they're releasing the super bowl ads early.

Please follow along kids, these brands can not hold it together enough to just let us see the ad on the bowl. The bowl. Freaking prom night of advertising. They also don't expect you to give their ad any hype just because it's a good ad, they rely solely on the Super Bowl ad event to carry the hype. These are premature ad-ejaculations, and need to be stopped. If this was a medical issue, the Doctor would prescribe a blue last-a-little-longer pill. PR tags along on this like mussels on a ship, enjoying every opportunity they get to trick the national news networks to talk about advertising instead of the news. And since news these days is basically talking heads parroting press releases, it works like a charm.

This used to be loads of fun, for adgrunts like us, in the days before the premature ad-ejaculation, but now when news networks in Kajikstan* are showing 20 seconds of the latest super bowl ad preview, it's getting a little too seedy instead of sexy. It also seems like we're expecting great ads only once a year. Seriously, if that brand was your boyfriend, how soon would you drop him? Before valentines day? Yeah, me too. Let great ads reign forever, and all over us, all year long.

* yo, Kajikstan is not a real place I made that up to mean "far away" in the spirit and tradition of Carl Barks, and if this offends you, you need to leave.