The part where I'd cut the VO would be at the 51 second mark. Figure an extra 3-5 for logo, etc, and you're only a fe extra shots away. So if you reaaaaalllly love the astronaut you can keep it. But conceptually-- astronauts wear helmets that are reflective, ergo you don't know how their hair looks. I'd rather keep the dog, at least you can see their hair.
I'd cut out some of the gratuitous shots (astronaut shot, dog, extra shots of people running. The old guy with the white hair shows up in like three or four shots. The bicycle shot is distracting. I might lose two or three three seconds off the opening running shot. But the simpler answer is to cut an edit without some of the voice over at the end because it starts to belabor the point.
Heres what I'd keep:
VO: My daily commute is a thief. A burglar who steals away my precious time. A mugger who lies in wait for me. Waits until I’m half awake and then quite brazenly robs me of my morning.
That's where I'd stop. That last sentence is your hero sentence. We're now at 51 seconds, which means you still have time for product/logo and letting the VO breathe. The part down below isn't necessary in my opinion. Besides, it starts veering into a female jealousy trope that seems old-fashioned.
There she is again. The mystery girl. With the perfect hair. Why is she spared her morning glory. Where is her head of shame? Look at us. Lost souls bound for bad hair central. What witchcraft sets her apart from us mere mortals?
I'd lose that paragraph and then I think it would be stronger, not to mention shorter.
What do you think?
So wait... first they have someone who is a Nazi troll at the helm. Now they want to ban all the people even though they aren't Nazis. I'm so confused. Kind of reminds me of that campaign last year when Sweden gave out a number for people to call because they supported freedom of speech and then of course that turned out not to be the case. With all of Sweden's hypocrisy concerning free speech, it should probably shut the fuck up now. Excuse my French. :D
@Dabitch
Perhaps it will help if I tell you the "Marley," in question who made this song is Bob Marley's grandson? You love the music now, right?
Either way, so many articles were written about it, Pepsi got all the earned media and then some. I'm sure some schmuck in their in-house agency has already prepared a Google slide showing the impressions numbering in the "trillions," never mind that the impressions are all unfavorable.
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